Please note: for any mother struggling for to breastfeed, or for those who tried and it didn’t work out, please know that I am a STRONG believer in the saying, “fed is best” and in no way am I implying that breastfeeding is better than bottle feeding.

Eva is now almost eight weeks old and I can say with certainty that we have figured breastfeeding out . No one really told me when I had Lydia, but breastfeeding is one of the most challenging things I have ever done. I knew the difficulties going in the second go around, but I had hope that it would be easier this time. The early weeks of breastfeeding are intense and time consuming. Even though I had been through it before, I still was second guessing myself, worried that Eva wasn’t gaining weight.

I told my husband after the first few weeks in, that I did not understand why breastfeeding was so hard on mothers. If we are naturally built for it, why doesn’t it happen more easily between mother and child? Why should we have to worry about milk production, latch, weight gain, etc.? Because I spent countless hours again researching anything and everything on breastfeeding once Eva arrived, I decided to share my second time experience with you guys. Hopefully, if there are any mothers out there looking for answers like I was, they can stumble upon this post and feel at ease after reading through it.

A Little Background

My first breastfeeding experience was terrible. To make a long story short, it was very difficult for Lydia to gain weight. She lost quite a bit after leaving the hospital, and it took an entire month to get her back up to birth weight. The hardest part was keeping her awake, or getting her to wake up to feed. She never woke up hungry and didn’t give me regular hunger cues, which made it extremely hard for me to figure her out. I asked a nurse at one point why she slept so much, and the answer traumatized me. I was told that she was “content to starve” meaning, she was so weak that sleep was a priority over eating.

We eventually got the hang of things after supplementing to help with weight gain. We did eventually get back to exclusively breastfeeding, but the experience was not enjoyable for either one of us. After five months of hard work and dedication, Lydia weaned herself. I gave it everything I had.

The Second Time Around

From the beginning, things with Eva were a lot easier. Everyone told me that the second breastfeeding experience would be better. I think it has been for a few different reasons.

Eva and I had an hour or more together right away when she was born. We had plenty of skin to skin contact while I nursed her for an hour. I got about five minutes with Lydia before they weighed her. While I was being stitched up, Eric held her. After all that, I remember giving nursing a try. That’s when I learned how hard it was to keep Lydia awake and alert enough for a proper feeding. I truly believe that establishing a bond with Eva immediately set us up for success and that is something I never had with Lydia.

I was also able to exclusively on-demand feed Eva right away. There was so much pressure on me to make sure Lydia was fed every two hours (from the beginning of the feeding session, to the start of the next). It felt like I had to be feeding her 24/7 and I could never get her to stay awake. With Eva, we were both able to get some sleep during her early days, making her more alert when it was time to eat.

Lydia and Eva were born in the same hospital and I saw a drastic change between the two girls when it came to the nurses knowledge around breastfeeding. After asking a manager, she informed me that most all of the nurses were now certified lactation specialists. This was seriously beneficial to me during our stay at the hospital. Literally anyone who walked in at any given time had the best tips and tricks to help me. They  ensured a good latch and promised me that if she only ate for five minutes, that was a good feeding for a brand new baby. I needed this reassurance after my experience with Lydia.

Once We Got Home

I left the hospital feeling way more confident as a second time mom. We took Eva in for her first baby well and she was below birth weight after a few days, which I fully anticipated. They said she was looking good and was on track, so I kept doing what I was doing. I made sure to schedule the public health nurse for additional weigh ins between baby well check ups as the memories of Lydia’s lack of weight gain flooded back. Eva’s first at-home weigh in with the nurse showed she wasn’t quite back to birth weight, but was gaining. The following week, we weighed her at her second baby well, and our pediatrician said that she would like her to be gaining more weight than she was.

Here is where I started to second guess myself. Flash backs to my experience with Lydia started happening on a regular basis. I started to constantly worry that she wasn’t getting enough milk. Thankfully, our pediatrician is extremely thorough. She asked me all types of questions that could indicate why she wasn’t gaining as fast. Eva did have a heart murmur, so the thought it could be causing her to work extra hard, burning more calories that she should during a feeding. Another thought was that our children could gain weight slower than others after looking at Lydia’s history.

The pediatrician scheduled us for another check up two weeks later to see how we progressed. In between those weeks I had already scheduled an appointment for the public nurse to visit us. I researched and researched tips and tricks on maximizing the milk Eva was receiving, how to keep her awake during the feed, etc. I landed on a video about breast compressions and started to implement those for every feeding. By the time the nurse showed up to weigh her, she gained more than an ounce a day from her last weigh in, putting her right on the right track. Here is where she started overachieving!

Not Giving Up

During these few weeks, my mental strength was definitely challenged. There were days that I wanted to give up. There were days I hated being confined to the couch. I would constantly Google if it was normal for Eva to constantly be eating. I wanted to know exactly when the cluster feeding would end, and needed to know when she would be more efficient at breastfeeding. So many articles and blogs sympathized with everything I was hating, worried, and stressed about. And each article or post would end by saying, “hang in there, it gets better I promise!” So, I kept looking forward. I told myself I could get through it, get Eva on the right weight gain track, and we did.

I hate to repeat what other bloggers or resources say, but I to promise that it does get easier. By five weeks Eva was eating faster, let up on the cluster feeding and was gaining weight like a champ. By six weeks I was no longer worried that breastfeeding was going to work. I was able to relax and enjoy the experience. We are both more comfortable with it, making it easier for me to breastfeed in public, which gives me a sense of freedom. It is more natural for the both of us. So, if you can make it through the first month, you’ve got it!